yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
