Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
