I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
