honey bunches of taint.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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