I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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