so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
