filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I love you. Go after that dick
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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