you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
