Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
