I will die if light touches me.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
