Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
