He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
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