Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
