if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
