in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
