so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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