we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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