I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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