Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
