ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
