Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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