the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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