You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize