ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Randomize
