Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
