One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
