id be glad to
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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