It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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