that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
