He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
areolas are like halos for boobs.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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