Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just pynch a tree in the face
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
COCAINE IS GR8
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
