So drunk its hurt
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i need some magic done to my vagina
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
