Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
