Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
