I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
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