Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
