Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
