absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
