Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
