Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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