I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
