are you so shy because you have an std?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
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