Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
