her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
