Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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