sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
