I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
