in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
