He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My ATM looks so different sober.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
