i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
