she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
